Learning The Curve

Happy Fathers Day to everybody!  The famous evangelist, Billy Graham, once said, 

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets of society.

My dad was just like that quote.  He was always lo-key and yet valued among his peers, his community, and by his family.  There is not enough room in this blog or any extraordinary adjectives to describe my dad.  He was always learning how to work the curve as life threw curve balls at him all the time. He did it without complaining and without any hesitation. 

He was the only son among four sisters.  (Although. he did have a brother named William but he never met him because he passed early on.) Because he was the only son, he was spoiled.  His clothes were neatly pressed and his shoes were shined by the helpers of the house. 

My dad Rome and my grandma Lourdes 1963(?)

His dad was the Vice Mayor and his family owned a bus transportation.  His mother was a loving mother who raised all the kids and helped with the bus business. As an 11-year-old boy, my dad learned how to park the buses and how to fix the buses. It was one of his first lessons in mechanics which would help later on in the Navy and lead to him flipping houses.  

1960 pics of my dad

My dad joined the Navy in 1965 as a 19-year-old kid. He told me in previous stories, "Imagine, joining the US Navy for better opportunity, and not understanding the English language. Imagine, leaving your family in one country and leaving only with one suitcase."  He would later tell me that his suitcase was stolen that first day.  So there he was...no suitcase and his limited English.  During holidays, he told me that he would sleep on the boat with the other Filipinos while the rest of the American crew members went home for the holidays to visit their family.  Times were hard for my dad.  It was very transitional and trying time to be serving a country that he barely knew.  To get through the difficult times, the Filipino sailors built a support system for each other in order to get through those lonely and transformational times. 

Unlike many of the other Filipinos, my dad never became a cook (many Filipinos could only be a cook in the 1960s US Navy). My dad was able to pass the written examination to become a Machinist in the engine room where the room would get over 100 degrees. He endured those hot work days but it allowed his body to get used to any hot work days even after retirement. This would later serve him well as he fixed many AC/heater units in hot attics. 

Because he was Filipino, his white shipmates would have him do all the work down there in the engine room. When I asked,  "What did he think when they would force him to do that?"  Surpisingly, his answer was constructive.  He said that it was good thing because he was able to learn more than the ones who didn't.  With that great work ethic and confidence, he was able to move to Chief fairly quickly.  

His Married Life

My mom and dad had known each other since they were born. They were born in the same year and they were neighbors.  They were classmates from preschool to graduation.  It was destined for them to be together.  They shared similar political backgrounds as my mom's family background was mayoral and my dads family background was mayoral through vice mayor position. 

My dad became relentless in pursuit of my mother once in the United States. My mother resisted early on but then they began dating in New Jersey. They got married and moved to Virginia shortly after he was stationed in Norfolk. 

Married in New Jersey, NJ. June 29th 1974

After 22 years in the Navy, he retired and began to work at the Norfolk Shipyard just for a few months.  But the Norfolk Shipyard wasn't his calling.  He finally settled down as a maintenance man for the Post Offices in which he made a huge difference with much of his colleagues. They all recall my dad a friendly and knowledgeable man. 

He continuously kept learning. Throughout the years, he received a real estate license, an electrician license, and an HVAC license.  He used his training from the Navy and his educational background to rebuild houses as a side hustle.  His fruit of success was due to his willingness to learn and his discipline to work.  

My silly dad on vacation with my mother.  He normally did not wear his hat like this.  

There was never a task too small or too big. He did everything from carpets, windows, roofing, electrical work, taxes, brick work, vinyl siding, doors, frames, AC/Heating, car maintenance, decks, patios, gardening, dancing, sewing, etc.  

His Last Days

After enjoying married life and retiring, my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  Immediately, my dad played a different role and became her caregiver. He really lived out the vow, "til death do us part." He took care of her for 7 years during the painful times and during the remission.  

Then the surprising news came as he was taking care of my mother...

In 2017, my dad was diagnosed with cancer as well.  So while he took care of my mother who was given only a few weeks to live, my dad began to fight for his life. It was definitely trying times for our family as we had both parents battling cancer.  I remember driving my dad to his radiation treatments.  I watched the strongest guy I knew become the weakest I have ever seen.  It made me think, if he couldn't do it, the strongest man I knew, than it must be hard. He took care of my mom for 7 years of her cancer, and now, he was unable to handle the load.  

Dad's certificate of completion for radiation therapy

My mother would pass first.  And then my dad passed 12 days after that.  I truly believe that my mom called for my dad to heaven so they can be together as always. They were meant for each other since the time they were born. I believe that God plans those things in which some people are just destined to be as one from the beginning of birth to even in the afterlife.  Never missing a beat... Their love stands the test of time...

My dad was and will always be the strongest and smartest guy.  He taught me so much about life that it would be too much to even mention.

I remember as a kid, we all prayed as a family.  To see my dad kneel before the altar in the house was a memory I hold close to my heart.  He was a man of God who always had his first priority to take care of my mother. When my mother passed, he was too weak to say any words.  He knelt down at the foot of the bed and held her hand.  He was praying in silence.  

My dad learned everything that came his way.  But when cancer came, his spirit surrendered.  My dad would always put up a fight and learn whatever he could to beat whatever was holding him back.  But cancer was a different monster.  He fought the best he could but in the end, he knew the cancer was harder enemy than he had ever encountered. I don't at all think cancer defeated him but I do believe that he beat cancer by surrendering his spirit to the Lord.  

His last days was him praying the rosary before he went to sleep. Jesus was listening...

I love you dad.  I can't wait to see you again.  Grateful for Jesus Christ for providing me with such an awesome God-fearing dad...  

...Amen...